What To Do With Your Slow-Starting Fantasy Baseball Team?
You’ve got scouts in the field, you closely monitor the training regimen of all your targeted players, you make sure they don’t get arrested for public intoxication during spring training, so why does your fantasy baseball team suck after the first couple weeks ?
Really, no matter how carefully you prepare for your fantasy baseball draft, you still might find yourself stuck with a bunch of early under-achievers. The key thing to remember is that it happens, it’s a long season, and there is really no reason to panic because you can always replace the most egregious slackers on your team with players that can get the job done off the waiver wire.
There is no need to lose your head if your fantasy baseball team gets off to a slow start, but if you must throw furniture, you can't go wrong following the near-flawless furniture-throwing technique of lengendary professional lunatic Bobby Knight
For example, after our week 2 dismantling by RotoAuthority.Com , Junkyardjake.com has now turned in two completely disastrous efforts. Besides actively replacing bums like Jason Bergmann and Felix Pie with waiver substitutes, we are also instituting some stricter rules as we head into week three in the FFSearch Expert League:
1) Everybody on my fantasy team needs to produce some sort of identification, because it is clear that I didn’t draft some of these guys:
I'm pretty sure that this is not the team I drafted. Who are you guys, and what have you done with Matt Holliday and Brett Myers ?
2) No more loud disco-music in the lockerroom. I had to be firm on this one. This isn’t the Ice Capades.
3) No more free towels, until we manage to put together a winning week. That’s right, I said it. In fact, if you bat 0 for 4, towels cost double,
I know that these new rules are a bit harsh, but I can’t have a bunch of disco-dancing fruitcakes running around the locker-room slapping each other with free-towels like they just won a gold-medal in the Sissy Olympics. It’s time to get down to business.
Really, no matter how carefully you prepare for your fantasy baseball draft, you still might find yourself stuck with a bunch of early under-achievers. The key thing to remember is that it happens, it’s a long season, and there is really no reason to panic because you can always replace the most egregious slackers on your team with players that can get the job done off the waiver wire.
There is no need to lose your head if your fantasy baseball team gets off to a slow start, but if you must throw furniture, you can't go wrong following the near-flawless furniture-throwing technique of lengendary professional lunatic Bobby Knight
For example, after our week 2 dismantling by RotoAuthority.Com , Junkyardjake.com has now turned in two completely disastrous efforts. Besides actively replacing bums like Jason Bergmann and Felix Pie with waiver substitutes, we are also instituting some stricter rules as we head into week three in the FFSearch Expert League:
1) Everybody on my fantasy team needs to produce some sort of identification, because it is clear that I didn’t draft some of these guys:
I'm pretty sure that this is not the team I drafted. Who are you guys, and what have you done with Matt Holliday and Brett Myers ?
2) No more loud disco-music in the lockerroom. I had to be firm on this one. This isn’t the Ice Capades.
3) No more free towels, until we manage to put together a winning week. That’s right, I said it. In fact, if you bat 0 for 4, towels cost double,
I know that these new rules are a bit harsh, but I can’t have a bunch of disco-dancing fruitcakes running around the locker-room slapping each other with free-towels like they just won a gold-medal in the Sissy Olympics. It’s time to get down to business.
1 Comments:
This is the funniest post I've ever seen!
Post a Comment
<< Home