Brad Friggin Li(vin' on the E)dge and Tony Pen(is not mightier than the sword)á
[Brad] li(vin' on the e)dge
You can't help yourself from fallin'
[Brad] Li(vin' on the e)dge
You can't help yourself at all
[Brad] Li(vin' on the e)dge
You can't stop yourself from fallin'
[Brad] L(ivin' on the e)dge
-Aerosmith
I was excited when I learned that I had a chance to force a tie with Fantasy Baseball Search until I learned that I was relying on Brad Lidge to bring me to that promised land. Sure. He pitched 6 scoreless this season before tonight. He has looked pretty dern good in the closer role. And, I was some .01 points away from the Guru in WHIP.
Pená had already done a number on me by looking awful. Fortunately, this was countered by Guru's Jose Valverde... so, with an inning of 1-2-3 closer-stuff from Lidge, I might have been able to gain the ground for a 5-5 or 4-4-1 tie for the week.
Relying on Lidge only made me think of his last seasons with the Astros. Which meant: I felt he was due to CRUSH me.
He started inning 9, with this stat: The three batters to face him - Damian Easley, Jose Reyes, and Luis Castillo -- were a combined 0 for 13 against him. This, of course, gave me every reason to doubt that Lidge would help. When Easley swung fast and missed at what would have been ball four on a 3-1 count, I was mildly optimistic...
...until Lidge threw a ridiculously low fastball to career-hitting .252 Easley, thereby walking him. BASTARD!
Then, to add salt to the wound, I had to watch what would have been a double play groundball to short by Jose Reyes get knocked off Lidge's mitt for an infield single. I swear: it almost looked like Lidge did this on purpose. I was sure that he looked to the outfield camera and winked at me.
As is now history, Lidge got his save... but he put two on, and ruined my chances all in one shot. I secretly wished that Eric Bartlett missed the Beltran groundball that would have brought in the tying run.
And, suddenly, I'm having thoughts of wishing that I had something that Lidge would want and taunt him with the possibilities, like hanging a carrot in front of a rabbit's face... and then I would take it all away, as I winked at HIS ass.
And, to my wife, who is salivating at the possibilities as she is looking over my shoulder at Brad Lidge's ESPN profile photo: NO, YOU CANNOT BE THE CARROT.
You can't help yourself from fallin'
[Brad] Li(vin' on the e)dge
You can't help yourself at all
[Brad] Li(vin' on the e)dge
You can't stop yourself from fallin'
[Brad] L(ivin' on the e)dge
-Aerosmith
I was excited when I learned that I had a chance to force a tie with Fantasy Baseball Search until I learned that I was relying on Brad Lidge to bring me to that promised land. Sure. He pitched 6 scoreless this season before tonight. He has looked pretty dern good in the closer role. And, I was some .01 points away from the Guru in WHIP.Pená had already done a number on me by looking awful. Fortunately, this was countered by Guru's Jose Valverde... so, with an inning of 1-2-3 closer-stuff from Lidge, I might have been able to gain the ground for a 5-5 or 4-4-1 tie for the week.
Relying on Lidge only made me think of his last seasons with the Astros. Which meant: I felt he was due to CRUSH me.
He started inning 9, with this stat: The three batters to face him - Damian Easley, Jose Reyes, and Luis Castillo -- were a combined 0 for 13 against him. This, of course, gave me every reason to doubt that Lidge would help. When Easley swung fast and missed at what would have been ball four on a 3-1 count, I was mildly optimistic...
...until Lidge threw a ridiculously low fastball to career-hitting .252 Easley, thereby walking him. BASTARD!
Then, to add salt to the wound, I had to watch what would have been a double play groundball to short by Jose Reyes get knocked off Lidge's mitt for an infield single. I swear: it almost looked like Lidge did this on purpose. I was sure that he looked to the outfield camera and winked at me.
As is now history, Lidge got his save... but he put two on, and ruined my chances all in one shot. I secretly wished that Eric Bartlett missed the Beltran groundball that would have brought in the tying run.
And, suddenly, I'm having thoughts of wishing that I had something that Lidge would want and taunt him with the possibilities, like hanging a carrot in front of a rabbit's face... and then I would take it all away, as I winked at HIS ass.
And, to my wife, who is salivating at the possibilities as she is looking over my shoulder at Brad Lidge's ESPN profile photo: NO, YOU CANNOT BE THE CARROT.
2 Comments:
I swear that (although perfectly fitting), I did not purposely design the title of this blog entry so that it would be summarized in the right column as ending "Tony Pen(is"
LOL I didn't even notice. Rob has a nice poster of Aerosmith in his bedroom by the way, right next to Justin Timberlake.
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