About my metaphorical-Kate-Moss-Sumo-Wrestling-Monster
Head to head fantasy baseball is a lot like sumo wrestlers fighting with the cunning use of mini-sumo-wrestling babies.
We fantasy players are the whining babies, and the sumo wrestlers are the fantasy players that we drafted with the idea that they would carry us to the promised land of fantasy baseball supremacy.
My problem is that the "sumo wrestler" that is carrying my whining ass is super thin. Like Kate Moss thin. And, Kate Moss the sumo wrestler might make a good sumo-costume model. She might even make a good sumo-stripper. But, let me tell you from first hand experience, that she can't play baseball for sh*t.
My fantasy juggernaut that is the metaphorical, sumo-wrestling Kate Moss is led by number one pick Miguel Cabrera, who taunts me in my sleep. I have the recurring nightmare of his fifth inning shot off Gil Meche in Game 1... It was Miguel Cabera's way of taunting me. "Look what I can do, Rob!"
And, then he waited 12 games to show me again.
I got slaughtered in Week 1, but it was a close race until I blogged about the series. Then, my team taunts me on the first day of Week 2 against Rotodoc, where I have probably the best single day of any team in this league. And, then, I couldn't let sleeping dogs lie. No. I had to blog about the "tight" race between me and Rotodoc... only to watch Rotodoc run away with it, while my metaphorical-Kate-Moss-Sumo-Wrestling-Monster decided to take time out to eat a sammich and take a nap.
Another 8-2 loss.
So, I sit here on Wednesday, once again deadlocked... this time, with the True Guru.
And, I have resolved to say NOTHING further on the subject, as sort of a blogger's version of leaping over the third base chalk line at the end of the inning or the blogger's version of brushing my teeth between innings.
I have to try something different.
Aha! Idea! I'm taking my metaphorical-Kate-Moss-Sumo-Wrestling-Monster out for a Big Mac, fries, and large chocolate shake! Eat it, Kate! PLEASE!
We fantasy players are the whining babies, and the sumo wrestlers are the fantasy players that we drafted with the idea that they would carry us to the promised land of fantasy baseball supremacy.
My problem is that the "sumo wrestler" that is carrying my whining ass is super thin. Like Kate Moss thin. And, Kate Moss the sumo wrestler might make a good sumo-costume model. She might even make a good sumo-stripper. But, let me tell you from first hand experience, that she can't play baseball for sh*t.My fantasy juggernaut that is the metaphorical, sumo-wrestling Kate Moss is led by number one pick Miguel Cabrera, who taunts me in my sleep. I have the recurring nightmare of his fifth inning shot off Gil Meche in Game 1... It was Miguel Cabera's way of taunting me. "Look what I can do, Rob!"
And, then he waited 12 games to show me again.
I got slaughtered in Week 1, but it was a close race until I blogged about the series. Then, my team taunts me on the first day of Week 2 against Rotodoc, where I have probably the best single day of any team in this league. And, then, I couldn't let sleeping dogs lie. No. I had to blog about the "tight" race between me and Rotodoc... only to watch Rotodoc run away with it, while my metaphorical-Kate-Moss-Sumo-Wrestling-Monster decided to take time out to eat a sammich and take a nap.
Another 8-2 loss.
So, I sit here on Wednesday, once again deadlocked... this time, with the True Guru.
And, I have resolved to say NOTHING further on the subject, as sort of a blogger's version of leaping over the third base chalk line at the end of the inning or the blogger's version of brushing my teeth between innings.
I have to try something different.
Aha! Idea! I'm taking my metaphorical-Kate-Moss-Sumo-Wrestling-Monster out for a Big Mac, fries, and large chocolate shake! Eat it, Kate! PLEASE!
3 Comments:
And, just like that... Miggy gets 5 RBI by the 5th inning off of True Guru's C.C. Sabathia.
Never mind that I have C.C. in my money league.
This is GOOD news.
Great stuff Rob!
Rob, I have to tell you. It is going to hurt to beat you. seriously, when its over, and I win 7-3 or 6-3-1 it will seriously hurt, I won't enjoy it for the first ohh, 5 minutes. 3-0 vs experts.
By the way I too have suffered with Miggy. He was my #1 draft pick in 2 of my 4 leagues. I was on pins and needles watching him hit against Carmona Fautista!
TTG
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